Dr. Beth's Songs Parents Want Their Children to Hear - Three and Up

Blending Families    

Blending families begins when my family history and your family history merge into one. This becomes really interesting (fun) when your family history includes children, and their parents with new spouses. The larger the families to blend, the greater the challenge and opportunity for richness of life...if you choose to accept it.

Compassion is the Key to Life    

The compassion I'm referring to here is compassion for the self. The child is born needing love, care, and soothing at all hours of the day and night. Sometimes the parent is emotionally and physically depleted and has nothing to give to the child. It is in this moment the love, tolerance, patience, acceptance, and compassion you can give yourself is essential. If you have to give when you are depleted, you may blame the child for your emptiness and exhaustion. The child then feels they are causing the depletion of their caregiver and ultimately that there is something wrong with themselves at the core of their being.

Feel It!    

What about human emotion? We can't live with it and we can't live without it. The goal is to make peace with all our feelings. We are not fully alive without a fluid range of emotions. Learn to embrace your feelings. Begin with knowing you and your children are okay just as you are... with all your feelings. Teach your child, and your child will remind you when you forget.

Good Question    

Do you sometimes want to pull your hair out because your children ask so many questions? And do you sometimes wonder how to respond? Welcome to the human race. Children asking questions is a normal, healthy stage of development. It really is okay if you don't know the answer to all your children's questions. You do not have to give the right answer or any answer at all. You could turn the tables and let your child think, learn, and then "figure it out together".

Kids Will Do the Same    

Feelings are an essential part of human life. One way or another they will be seen, heard, and known. You choose...I can act it out or I can internalize manifestations, anxiety, depression, illness; or I can learn to talk out my feelings. As feelings are noticed, appreciated, acknowledged, embraced, tolerated, and expressed... they begin to flow. Whatever you do, your kids will model until they learn they can make conscious choices like you can now that you are an adult.

Brain Growth    

The brain's growth is exponential during the first three years of life and again during adolescence. It has recently been found that our brains are not fully developed until our mid-twenties. The brain's synaptic connections are created through stimulation and exploration. Trial and error are essential for brain development. If I am afraid to make mistakes, look bad, or get in trouble, I limit my brain's opportunity for growth.

Feeling Friend    

How can we make friends with our feelings? We might as well, they are here whether we like it or not. Feelings are not behaviors or actions. Understanding, acknowledging, and expressing your feelings is the goal for healthy emotional life. This expression begins the first day of life. The minute you were born...you cried, and the emotional process began.

One Kid Band    

We all go through experiences when we might feel mad or sad. This song is to help children and parents understand that mad and sad feelings are normal, healthy and essential to experience. The chorus is about what to do when these potentially uncomfortable feelings come up. The child can find someone to help them tolerate, understand, and hold their feelings if someone is capable, willing, and available at that moment. If not, the child can learn how to tolerate, console, and hold their own feelings when no one else is available. In other words, they can create their one-kid band.

Choices    

This song has a lesson for both the parent and the child. The verse helps the parent understand the consequence of condemning, of not accepting or creating space for all feelings. It also emphasizes that there are positive outcomes when feelings are seen, understood, and appreciated. The chorus helps the child realize they have a choice, no matter how the parent responds. Sometimes we don't learn this lesson until we become adults and take responsibility for our own lives.

Messy Time    

Children learn, grow and develop through exploration and play. It is through acceptance of creativity that children and parents are given room to flourish. There are times to set boundaries and teach social norms and other times to allow messiness. Have you found time to let your hair down, get wild and crazy, be silly, laugh, play, and get messy? Be careful ... you just might have fun!

Setting Boundaries    

Setting boundaries and structures is essential for a child's sense of security and safety. As a parent, how do you know when to say no? How do you know which battle to pick? It is important your child learns how to set boundaries with others as well. They learn this through your consistent modeling. If your boundaries are determined by what you consciously value, then your child will learn your values.

Precious One    

One time I was driving along during a really tough day. I asked myself, my inner child, what do you need? What are you feeling? What would you like to hear from an ideal parent? This song is a message from an adult self to a sad, hurt little child self. What a wonderful message for a child to hear from their parent as well.

Good Night Song    

Creating a nighttime ritual is soothing and very helpful for a child to fall asleep. Sometimes nighttime can be stressful for parents and children. Children may have concerns about not being able to quiet their thoughts, mind, emotions or how to soothe and regulate themselves. Most children create magical stories of the dark and may have difficulty separating from the parent. They hate to miss out on the fun parents and others will have while they are asleep. Creating a time to read, cuddle, sing, talk, and connect before bedtime helps in the transition and is a gift for a child's lifetime.